A little Triumph in Maths

26th Jan 2015
Just one week ago, I lost my temper at this boy. I lost it in a flare and a torrent of scoldings. The Math syllabus had introduced counting up to 1000, and S who usually had difficulties with counting even into tens, and sometimes in his unfocused state (which happens pretty often), he also counts his ones wrongly.

So when the thousands were introduced, he struggled for quite a bit with the placement values. Then they had to learn number patterns and he too, struggled with finding the missing numbers. He couldn't understand the concept of adding (or subtracting) with the numbers before and after to get the missing numbers in between. It was very frustrating teaching him because in a number pattern of say, 200s, he would fill in the missing number with a ridiculous answer like '5'. Even though I had sat beside him and explained at length on how to derive the pattern, he still couldn't get 'it'. And I would get mad at him because, the answer was so obvious to me, yet the concept totally eluded him.

I knew that it wasn't fair to him by losing my temper like that, and that getting angry with him wouldn't suddenly make his mind wrap around the math concept, but in a moment of frustration and anger, I lost my temper at him. He too, was frustrated at me and at himself, for receiving my unnecessary temper and for not being able to understand.

So I pulled up my socks and did revision with him on his textbook over the weekend; something that I ought to have done right from the beginning but hadn't been conscientious about it. I tried teaching him variations of the examples the textbook gave, twisting this way and that, and forwards and backwards, and it took quite a bit of efforts (and threats) to stay his attention as it strays away after a short while.

Hub also reinforced values of the hundreds by showing him the top speed of several cars listed in a magazine, teaching him to compare the speeds of the cars and which model went the fastest by looking at the km/hr speed.

The next few days after that, his understanding of the math concept still wobbled as he couldn't yet fully grasp the things that had been taught and I didn't think too much into it.

Today as usual, we started on his homework straight after dinner. He presented me with a few pages of math worksheets on long additions into the hundreds. I saw that while he had attempted two questions on his own (with wrong answers), he had also pre-wrote an additional ten carried over from the ones value on all the questions including those that he hadn't yet done. I was dismayed.

I rubbed off all his little ones and explained that while I was happy he had attempted some of them by himself, they were done wrongly. I then guided him step-by-step on the first question and suddenly like a lit bulb, he just knew how to handle the rest of the sums. I watched with amazement and pride, his pudgy fingers moving as he calculated the additions with minimal mistakes. It was literally like the 'gears just clicked'.

The comments that flowed from him subsequently as he breezed through the next few questions were varying versions of 'aiyah this one so easy, I know how to do already', or 'easy peasy lemon squeezy', or even 'see, I'm very good in maths now!'

Seeing his smugness and ease in completing the sums, I couldn't decide if I wanted to scoff or laugh at his 'revelations'. But I was very glad for him because these reactions were a complete contrast from the usual blanked out, perplexed or guarded look he usually had while I was teaching him maths. It brought a smile to my lips but I hid that smile as I listened to him chattering animatedly on how 'good' he was in maths now. 

I couldn't bear to burst his bubble nor afford to indulge and overly boost his ego, so I told him quietly that while he was doing a good job, he had to do his sums properly and carefully to avoid careless mistakes. I am not sure how much of what I had said went through his inflated ego and into his mind, or how long he will retain this topic since he tends to forget the things that he learn rather quickly. But today has undoubtedly been a small triumph for us in the confusing and complexing world of math and its problem(atic) sums. And I let him soak in that triumph. 

It is these tiny little triumphs that give me - and him, the strength and perseverance to continue teaching and learning, and moving forwards inch by inch in the many miles ahead to cover.

Well done my boy.

I hope you and I will never forget the feel of today's triumph, giving us the strength and tenacity to always try to strive towards overcoming the difficulties we face.

2015 Week Two

It's 11.30 in the night. Sitting alone at the dining table, I attempt to self reflect while winding down for the day.

We're barely into week two of 2015, translating equally into the second week of Primary Two, and I'm ashamed to say that I have already blown off my temper at S. Why do P2s have to learn into the thousands?!! Did I learn that in lower primary as well? I can't recall obviously.

In fact, recollections of my time in primary school is vague at most. Bits and pieces of happenings around but nothing about the syllabus. However, I can recall that I enjoyed lessons (at least for primary school) and that I definately didn't have as much homework as him.
It's frustrating to compare, and I know that the comparison is irrelevant now, but the mental strain of the current syllabus for an eight year old somehow seems too much for not only him, but myself too, to take.

After work and a quick shower and dinner, we immediately start on his homework (2 pages of Maths and English each) and a little preparation for spelling on Wednesday. A glass of milk later and its 10pm. My boy crawls into bed, eyes red and sleepy, and he's flat out asleep within the next ten minutes. He gets his bare minimum of eight hours sleep before waking up bleary eyed the next day for school.

And this cycle goes on for him for the whole school week. On the luckier days that he doesn't have homework, I get to take a break as well. (Provided that he has learnt his spelling.) I get to unwind and have some me-time before the night gets too late. These times are like catching a breeze during the hot summer days - a brief respite in the neverending heat.

Come weekends, we don't try to pile the usual enrichment classes onto him. Instead, we enrol him for non-academic classes of swimming and art lessons, leisure and life skills instead of focusing on the academics. He has also expressed his interest in wushu or taekwondo and we may register him for a class if we find a suitable one.

So, in the blink of an eye, the weekend ends and the cycle continues on until the school holidays arrive for a much needed breather.
A working mom's life is tough.
A student's life is tougher.

First Day, Primary Two. Learning journey for Mommy.

The first day of school today.

Doubtlessly, many of my fellow parent friends have been busy posting pictures of their P1 going children. As I scroll through my news feed, delighting in the pictures of the many children in various uniforms, I am reminded of this same time last year when S first attended primary one.

Kan cheong and nervous as they were, I had posted my fair share of photos of S in his oversized uniform and huge Mcqueen bag, looking all uncertain, afraid, and a little excited. I didn't post a photo of myself then, but if I had, you would have seen me, anxiously wringing my hands and with tears in my eyes. And the smile that I mustered as I waved him goodbye while he boarded the school bus certainly didn't match the frown that I had knitted between my brows. 

That significant moment the automatic doors of the bus closed in my face, signaled the start of the letting-go process.

My child, who had been a baby in my eyes up until then, who had never left anywhere without me, was now boarding the bus alone, and away from me. The fact was made even more obvious as I stood there, waving as the tail lights became smaller and smaller.

Soon after, we had immediately scrambled into the car and trailed the bus to school. And from there, was another big moment in learning to let go as I forced my feet to remain still while watching my scrawny, unsure boy from afar, losing his way around the unfamiliar compound.

These scenes that I had described were just the surface ones. There were many other learning points that went on backstage before this big day. For starters, I had overlooked in teaching S the concept of money and of buying things, and only gave him a crash course the night before. That subsequently led him to be quite confused while buying food at the canteen. For months, all he could handle were two one-dollar coins because he only knew that he had 'one' or 'two monies'. If we gave him an assortment of change, he would only buy something to eat and nothing to drink, or vice versa. 

I also didn't tally his booklist and did not realise that the school diary was missing. I would later realise that the diary was an important bridge between parents and teachers because they wrote everything on that little spiral book. All the homework, assignments, tasks to do, notes and reminders were written in there. And because I could never count on S to relay to me the messages or homework that he had to do, that meant that I didn't know when spelling was, or that he needed to bring rags to school the next day.

As the months passed, S slowly settled into school and its routine in his own ways while I gradually learnt the ways of being a primary-1-mommy, although I still made several mistakes in the months that followed. 

In one particular incident, I had read in the weekly newsletter that S had to bring his apron to some sort of a home economics class every Thursday. At the back of my mind, I knew that he had a school issued apron lying somewhere unopened in the box but somehow, my mind didn't register that fact. I then went on to Daiso and bought him a nice, green polka-dotted one instead. Smugly packing that to school for him, I only realised my mistake two weeks later when in a chance conversation, he mentioned that all his friends had laughed at him. The guilt that I felt in shaming my son then was immeasurable. But now, I snigger to myself whenever I recall what I had put him through.

Fast forward one year later, I am no longer a newbie schooling parent as I prepare S for his journey onto primary 2. With one year of experience under my belt, I can now pack his school bags with surer hands and a calmer disposition. It is also much easier 'letting go' now. Watching my not-so-scrawny-anymore boy handle school with ease and confidence on his first day today, I am heartened and reminded by his progress.

He has improved over the year, and although not 'perfect', he is better at handling his money now, surer of his school's syllabus and has improved in answering questions. Beyond these, there is still much more things for him to learn and realise along the way and for me too, to learn and realise together with him. As I learn how to help him learn in managing school, I realise that the school is not only a place of learning for children, but for parents alike.

As we continue onto our second leg of his journey this year, I look foward to the progress that we may cover together, and the discovery of new wonders everyday.

Together, may we scale greater heights than the year before.

Happy schooling everyone.