At age 4 going on to 5, Little L is at that inquisitive stage where she is constantly observing and enquiring about the things she sees. Mature enough now to know how certain things are, she queries about the what-whys of things that seem out of the norm to her. Some of her questions and observations are fascinating. Others though, can kill. At least several times, I have found myself almost dying of embarrassment at the things she utters.
There was once, I found her standing outside a lingerie outlet in a shopping centre, admiring the video of triumph(-ant) ladies sashaying down the walkway in their underwear sets. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied me in her nonchalant chirpy voice, that she was 'just looking at the neh-neh-pok'.
And another time when we walked past a lingerie store (again), she promptly marched up to a row of bras that was on display and much to my chagrin, stopped in front of one pair and in a not too soft voice, exclaimed 'MOMMY LOOK! YOU HAVE THIS ONE TOO!"
She has also, on one occasion, ransacked through my grocery shopping and picking up a packet of sanitary napkin, demanded to know why I bought such a big packet of 'tissue'.
Another question that had previously piqued her curiousity was why she couldn't stand up and pee 'just like kor kor'. Her stubborn streak showed up here when she adamantly stood in the shower and peed standing up despite my explanations to her.
There was also another instance when she asked why the Indian lady in the sari wasn't wearing her clothes properly, and that she would 'catch a cold' because she didn't cover her tummy up.
Our latest 'incident' happened last week while we were having our lunch. L, who had recently mastered the art of making her eyes crossed, was laughing as she pointed to some one behind me. I turned around and to my horrer, realised that she was actually laughing at a lady seated a few tables away, who actually suffered from Strabismus. She had thought that the lady was being funny. I quickly shushed her up and explained that the lady wasn't being playful like her and that some people were born like that. She quickly sobered up after my explanation.
I've lost count of the number of embarrasing occasions Little L has unknowingly and naively put me in. But I am thankful and glad for these times because her observations and questions on the many occasions showed me that she wasn't just a little chatterbox. She was constantly observing about her surroundings, constantly learning, constantly understanding, and thus, constantly growing.
However, I must add that it is a challenge coming up with instant answers, and to moderate those answers accordingly to her age and maturity. I often struggle through her questions to come up with an appropriate answer, even more so since I grew up in a typically old fashioned asian way, where certain issues and topics were kept low in profile.
I am still not quite used to answering her awkward questions candidly but I force myself to open up, knowing that the way I react and the explanations I provide her now will form building blocks in how she understands and perceives things in time to come. It is a big responsibility moulding her perceptions and the way that she will learn to think.
As she grows, her questions grow with her, getting more difficult and complex to answer. And I have to admit that there have been many occasions when I had wished that I heard her wrongly, and even more times when I was tempted to conveniently 'pretend' that I didn't hear them at all.
Tempted as it may be though, I try to incorporate mini impromptu sessions, educating her with each 'topic' that she comes up with. From another perspective, each question that she asks is an opportunity to engage and guide her into learning and understanding life. I can't say that the answers I provided her were model answers, but I try my best. As I grow and learn along with her, I hope to be able to mould her into a person who will grow to be empathetic, open-minded and kind.
In time to come, when she gets older and becomes everything cool, hip and in, and when she understands more in the ways of the world, she will no longer come running to me to ask me things that she doesn't understand.
Perhaps it will be me then, the bumbling embarrassing mom, running to her for explanations that I don't understand.
Learning is a lifelong process, no?
So shoot away my darling. Try to embarrass me less. But ask me more, ask me many. And I will try to answer them as best as I can.
