The exams are upon us.
I made full use of the psle marking days and the brief days before that by throwing paper after past paper at S to complete, then spending my nights after dinner dragging my feet around to mark those scribbled answers, before going through together on those questions answered wrong, in equal amounts of exasperation. (His, because he doesn't understand what I am trying to explain, and mine, because I don't know what I'm explaining to him either.)
The way the questions are phrased in the papers these days already pose a challenge to a general number of kids. For a boy with language processing difficulties, this challenge is easily amplified threefold.
In my moments of weariness, I raise my voice unintentionally as the frustration of having to repeat my explanations over and over unsuccessfully to him, get to me. In his moments of exasperation, he yells back "Mom, I don't understand the questions! Can you make the English easier so I can understand?!!"
And I'll try explaining the answers to him again. Nicely.
As the SA2 draws its net nearer with each passing day, the sense of fear and dread and impatience that is welling up inside of me has become a ripe bubble on the cusp of bursting.
Today was the final dash we had before his papers start tomorrow. But instead of being in a state of anxiousness, a sense of impatience bursts through and on impulse, I think to myself 'F*ck this sh*t!' Let's just get the exams over and done with. We are so not doing any more mugging.
So today, the kids went for a leisurely swim, we then went out for a wonderful dinner, gallivanted briefly in the mall and went for a fun filled spin at the car wash before finally heading home to end the day.
I needed this sanity just as S needed a break.
"F*ck this sh*t!" I say to myself, imagining me throwing the papers away like the internet meme.
Give me a minute as I bask in my false sense of bravado.
And then, before the minute is over, I'll quietly pick those papers up.
I know I'll need them again tomorrow.
Against the swelling tide of education, there is only this much bravado I can retaliate with before reality sets in.
Against the swelling tide of education, there is only this much bravado I can retaliate with before reality sets in.
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To my dearest boy,
The exams are upon us.
So here's the strategy -
Don't leave any questions blank, read carefully, check through your answers again and good luck!
Think of the PS4 waiting for you at the end of the storm.
Think of the treat at Saizeriya you made me promise you after your papers.
Think of all the rolling good times that you will get to play during the holidays.
Keep your eye on the prize Son, and go do your thing.
I love you and all the best!
