Disneyland HKG - my 2c

28th April 2013

Disneyland. Every child's dream to visit. Or is it not? Judging by my kids' reactions, maybe not. They were frightened and unhappy, and we were frazzled. The most heard sentences we heard all the time while at Disneyland were not, 'Yay! This is fun!', or 'Whee... I like this!'. What we constantly heard were whines of "Can we go now??" or "I'm scared!".

All. The. Time.

It was exasperating! 0h, they had happy moments there. And these were during the times when we were eating popcorn, when they were running around chasing cute little  sparrows, and especially when it was time to go back.

Mulling into their bizzare reactions and what actually went wrong days into our holiday, I began to realise that it wasn't my kids' dream to visit Disneyland. That little piece of dream actually belonged to me. In dreaming of giving my kids the best, it was my perception that bringing them to Disneyland - the epitome of THE place for children, would in turn be what they had wanted.

Between them whining and us cajoling - with a spot of threatening (I'm asian in thinking. We still use the cane every now and then), we managed to spend two frustrating, slightly frazzled but 'not too bad' half days at Disneyland and Ocean Park. Looking back, the trip wasn't downhill all the way. At least they managed to catch glimpses of Mickey & gang, visit the humongous aquarium, and enjoy a few rides and games. We also managed to take the tram up to the peak, met up with my cousin for dinner,  and had pretty decent local food most of the trip.

Overall, Hub and me managed to lug the reluctant kids for a 5d holiday without any major incidents. Considering that we aren't exactly gung ho travelling parents, plus it was our first attempt travelling with just the 4 of us, I'd say we give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done.

If anything, this trip had taught me a very important lesson. As parents, it would be natural to want the best we can afford for our kids. But in trying to achieve that, sometimes we tend to forget that our kids are not an extension of ourselves to build our unfulfilled dreams on. They are little individuals who are part of us, but yet not us. These little individuals will eventually grow up into adult individuals. They too will have their dreams, ideals and goals that they want to achieve. But often, their hopes get quashed for our own, or for what we view as best for them.

In my case, I think the kids were pretty happy playing in the hotel, watching tv and doing some coloring, (I should have just rented a chalet. Lol!) and the fact that both of us were around to accompany them. During work days, the time we have for them is admittedly, sorely short. I learnt that they didn't need fancy holidays. They just needed us. Our undistracted time and undivided attention.

While that may be much more friendy to the pockets, it is by no means easier. If anything, it translates to much more time consuming and energy depleting efforts. So where is the payoff for parents? The answers speak for themselves when we see their wide happy smiles, hear their infectious  cheery laughter, when they show us happiness, when little voices tell us 'I love you's, when tiny hands come around to hug us and when little kisses are planted on our cheeks. Nothing else would feel more important as them and being with them.

I have been awed many times over of their unconditional love for us. And for those times when godzilla mommy is unleashed for little things like making a mess or simply not paying attention, I feel undeserving of their immense love. Afterall, how many times have we ignored them for that handphone message or email? Good parents or not, we have tried and are constantly trying to better ourselves for them and our future. They love us for who we are and their unconditional love is what makes it all worthwhile.

In meantime, I must endeavour to remind myself constantly that their needs and wants do not equivilate to mine. But alas, sometimes it is much easier thinking for one mind then three altogether. But I will try. In learning from my mistakes, would we ever want to bring the kids back to Disneyland again? Why not? But the next time, I will ask if they actually want to go back.

Lesson learnt.