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Backdate 27th August 2013

Toy cars were strewn all over the floor. Folded paper aeroplanes lay bent on the ground. Wooden blocks were scattered around dangerously. Assortment of toys were littered everywhere and the kids were making so much noise! 

The sight that greeted me when i stepped out of my room was not a happy one. I was angry at the kids for the mess they created and was in the mind to hunt them down for a good scolding!

When I spotted them, they were playing with the tricycle. Brother was pushing sister on the bike and because he was pushing so fast, she was squealing with delight at the exhilarating rush! At the same time, brother was also giving her instructions on the directions to steer - 'Turn left mei mei! Turn left!' But because mei mei hadn't quite yet differentiated her right from her left, she was having difficulty following the instructions, which in turn caused Kor Kor to shout louder at having to keep repeating the instructions. 

Oh, but they were having fun. They were on an adventure trying to rampage the obstacles that littered the path, and  avoiding my poor unsuspecting dogs lazing on the floor. After a few rounds, mei mei got tired of the game and got up. The seat was immediately taken by Kor kor, who went on to tell mei mei that it was now her turn to push. And push him she did. That little skinny monkey actually had the strength to push the brother around!

The sight warmed my heart. Because you see, in the beginning, kor kor didn't know how to share. He didn't know how to play with others and lacked skills in many areas that we weren't even aware until he was diagnosed. (He has ASD.)

Among many other skills that he lacked, he also had difficulties in his speech. He didn't understand where 'behind', 'in front', 'on top', 'below', 'in' and 'out' meant.  He didn't know how to climb up the ladder of the slide, his muscle tone was weak, he was constantly drooling and he doesn't look at us when we talk to him or when answering our questions. (I later learnt that this 'eye contact issue' was a Big Alert.)

These were skills that many parents would take for granted from their kids, but we had to work very hard behind the scenes to get him to where he is now. We were arranged for sessions after sessions of therapies at various locations, and the days all passed by in a blur ferrying him everywhere. It was during the sit-ins of one of his therapies that I learnt the importance in this seemingly simple activity.

I learnt that through this simple play, kids pick up innate skills like taking turns and sharing. In my opinion, such behaviors would subsequently affect their social skills and in turn, affect many other areas in their life that accumulate and make up the attributes of how the child would eventually turn out. We all know that autistic children mostly have difficulties in social skills and adapting to the norms of society.

So when I saw my son playing with his sister, taking turns and sharing, it really warmed my heart. I was encouraged to know that he was learning to pick up the threads of acceptable social behavior and at the same time reminding me of the leaps and bounds of improvements that he has made. 

And above all, I was reminded of the reason why we wanted to have two kids instead of just one. We wanted a playmate and companion for him and here they were, accompanying each other, playing. I took a moment to acknowledge and appreciate the laughters surrounding me, and of the fun they were having.

Yes, the house was constantly  messy and the floor always strewn with toys. Some parts of the walls were smudged black from little dirty hands and accidental pencil marks. Corners of paint were chipped off from the impact where toy cars flew from 'accidents' staged by my little car fanatic. Little stickers adorned my coffee table, window, fan and whatever sacred corners my girl chose, and a big portion of my wall was patchy because a layer of paint was scrubbed off when we had to use cleaning agents to clean scribbles.

My place wasn't spotless or neat and it certainly wasn't show flat material. But to me, it was perfect. This place had laughter, tears, squabbles and joy marked in every corner and room.

It wasn't simply a house. It was our Home.
A place where our hearts belonged. ♥