Little Ballet Girl

Backdate 15th August 2013

On my way home today, a little girl and her maid boarded the train during one of the stops. Judging from her dressing, the little girl must have had just finished ballet class and the helper was bringing her home. 

Little girl was about 5 years old and oh-so-pretty! The type that random passers-by would gush over. She had big round eyes and a ready cheeky smile. Garbed in the little ballet frock, her cheeks were still flushed red from the ballet class earlier on. Her bun was messed up in a cute unkempt way, the way that little girls who could never keep their hair neat would look. When I looked at her, I was wondering if Lauren would grow up to be like this little girl.

Then I looked at the helper. Judging from the length of her hair and dressing, she was the typical Filipino maid. The type that was quite 'lao chiau'. She had earphones plugged into her ears and although she wasn't talking on the phone, neither was she talking to the little girl.  She wasn't looking at her, smiling at her or engaging her. She was basically just doing her job - bringing the young ward home.  

Technically, she wasn't doing anything wrong.  But somehow I felt that she wasn't doing enough. Suddenly I realized that I may have been looking into the future of Lauren! With today's increase in the demands and expectations of our jobs and standards of living, it is very common for families to employ an additional helper. It is also not unusual to delegate tasks, like the bringing and fetching of kids to various enrichment activities, to the maids. I myself have been guilty of this on many occasions.

While this scene isn't uncommon, it really struck me then that if I wasn't careful in allocating my time properly between work and family, my kids would likely end up in this situation in the not too distant future.

As I had said earlier, the helper wasn't in the wrong. Her job was to make sure she brings the child back safely. Her job scope definitely did not include teaching and nurturing the little girl. That sacred job was solely reserved for parents. However, at such a tender age, I didn't want my kids to go through such similar monotonous journey of not experiencing, not observing and  not communicating everyday. 

What I wanted for my children who are still so young and not yet ready to face the world on their own, was someone who would hold their little hands tightly. Someone who would point out buses and signs, butterflies and kittens along the way. Someone who would engage them when they made their own observations and comments. Someone who would smile at them adoringly and laugh with them along the journey. Someone who made them feel important. 

I wanted to be that Someone. So that I could enrich my children everyday on simple little things. I wanted to be there, in part of their lives in all sorts of journey. Be it along the complex journey of their education, or along the simple journey home.

Of course life would be so much more easier if I left everything to the helper. But that would mean that I would lose a chunk of their lives daily. And if I accumulate those times, that would account for a lot! 

Kids grow up so fast! While they are still young and think the world of me now, I want to cherish every opportunity with them. Very soon they are going to grow up and have their own friends and activities. They would not want to spend time with me, I'll hardly see them. And I'll be left wondering where my sweet little babies went to. 

I do not want to wait till then to regret all the lost times. Some things can never be brought or bought back and we know Time is one of the the notorious ones. Given our current commitments, it is impossible to think that I can be with my kids all the time. I would still have to rely on my helper for certain occasions. But I would need to make more conscious efforts in spending more times with them.

So in meantime, I'm going to be the mother hen who will hold their hands tightly, give them plenty of hugs and kisses everyday, chat with them, laugh with them, play with them, learn with them, read with them and when they have grown big enough to face the world on their own independent feet, I'll learn to let go and I'll learn to let them face their challenges on their own.

But I won't wonder where my little babies have gone. My little babies would have grown up. And I was with them during that journey.